Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Reading List 2011

Currently Reading:


Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson......loving it.


Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel.....interesting book about eroticism keeping marriages intact


Read in 2011

Sex at Dawn by Christopher Ryan
why marriage will eventually be a tradition of the past. 


Twelve by Twelve.....by William Powers
best book of 2011 rethinking consumerism, living in a space 12 x 12,permaculture,ecoculture.

The Art of Non Conformity by Chris Guilebeau
thinking outside the box and creating funds for world travelling.

Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert
another look at marriage

The How of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky
latest research on what makes us happy......maybe skip it

The Mesh by Lisa Gansky
exciting book about new business models this the current economy.

My Abandonment by Peter Rock
true story about a child kidnapping seen through the eyes of a young girl.  Amazing book.

Sh*t My Dad Says by Justin Harper
funny and true witticisms about life. 

Sway -The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behaviour
interesting look at peoples behaviour

Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn
fabulous book about relationships - not just parenting. hang it to the second half.

Yoga & The Path of the Urban Mystic by Darren Main
loved this book about how a guy transformed his life through yoga

The Power of Half by Salwen
consumerism yet again, small fun inspiring book













Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Knowledge is Power - Sex & Money

This blog is about equality.  Mans laws may be against us and there are ways to even the balance between the sexes.  You may scoff at how simplicistic they are, but do we do these things on a regular basis?

I think that all divorces can be boiled down to two issues, sex or money.  One or both parties are not happy in one or both of these arenas.  They can mask it as not enough time together, the kids, the other's method of handling or creating income or spending habits.  Whatever, it's always sex or money.

Women want equality. Are we willing to learn to handle these two issues?  Knowledge is power.  If you are creating the funds, and can keep your partner sexually satisfied on a daily basis, the power balance is going to go your way.

How can we do this?  Education.  Making life choices which are consistent with our personal fulfillment.

How often do you read non fiction books?  One a week?  College education can only help along in opening doors to a career.  It's the life long education that will increase our knowledge base.

Knowledge on eroticism is going to increase your fulfillment as much as your partner.  Most of us think we know all there is to know.  Wrong.  Pleasure is a life long study.  Are you centered enough and stress free enough to be able to spend time each day pleasuring yourself and your partner?

But heck, I have two kids, a job and no time.  Make time!  Rethink your priorities.  Your kids know how to get your attention.  Are you giving attention to yourself and your partner?  How do you feel about your body?  Do you exercise, eat right,etc.  Study erotic education? Sex is as fundamental as easting, yet we often neglect this aspecto of our lives, or use it as a power play with our partner.  Slow down, pay attention.  If you're not interested, maybe learn a little. It may pay handsomely to the quality of your life.

The other method of equality I'd like to discuss is money.  Feeling that your basic needs are net and that you, not anyone else, has the ability to meet those needs.  Once again, education is where its at.  No, not attending a college, self education, study,study,study.  Can you be independent?  Is it possible to become self reliant? If you have children, this idea still applys.  Your children will become stronger if they observe your self reliance.

If you wish, I can recommend a reading list to get started.  Make a request in the comments section. 

How do you see these two issues in regards to equality?  How does it play out in your life?  Sex and money will be gone over and over in future postings in this blog.





Sunday, January 22, 2012

Men Are Funny

Men are funny just like us.  We all do weird stuff.

My friend Helen from Sydney Australia gave me this little phrase.  Men swear when they can't find words.  Hey, its a put down and there may be an element of truth to it.

Don't get me wrong, we don't want to put those guys down.  We love em! Mostly.  Our dads, our brothers, hubby's, friends. Living without them wouldn't be any fun.  We just don't want to be controlled by them, right!

This blog is definitely not about bashing men.  It's more about how we as women can work towards equality.  Female empowerment you might say.

Life is a lot more exciting if one is conscious.  Maybe make a little more effort in looking at how we think and why we do what we do at any given moment. We can get into a rut, thinking we can't change our circumstances and feel anger and resentment.

Hopefully this blog will inspire you a little bit to share with others your experiences on creating a more equal world.  Just that little extra effort goes a long way.  Have you been reading this blog and making no comments, or not be willing to become a follower just because you are a little lazy?  Jump in, make friends here.  Give us your stories, your version of what makes a difference.

Men are funny, but so are we.  Humor is the best way of breaking the ice! Com on now, get with it?

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Can They Tell?

I keep wondering.  Do other people sense what you're thinking?

Strange subject for an equality blog?

There is a persistent resentment underling the psyches of women. Yes, the inequalities are not as bad as they used to be.  Nevertheless, they are still there.  Women still have to work harder to earn equal pay, prove themselves more capable in higher education levels, are often dismissed in politics, and the list goes on and on. You know the drill.

Have you ever noticed that when you feel sad or sick, your pet knows way before anyone else does?  They snuggle up and comfort you as much as they can.  My thinking is that men have the same type of instinct.  They can sense the resentment that we feel and do react, often unconsciously.  This tension may be expressed in various levels of coping mechanisms.

One in three of us uses some type of substance to cope with life, be it alcohol,drugs, processed foods etc. The pressures that we live with, have we ever thought about why we do these things? Why do we get married, have children we can't support, work two jobs, eat unconsciously?

Personally, I think we allow ourselves to be controlled by religions that are backed up by the propaganda machine, the media.  As you may know, I travelled extensively around the world and was totally amazed at how religions of all sorts ruled societies.  Don't get me wrong, I know that there is a universal power that creates all that there is.  I also know that I can think for myself and observe that the law of nature is much more in line with my thinking than is the law of man.

Perhaps if we lived by our natures versus the rule of religion/media some of this tension between us would dissipate?  I wonder. Would it be possible to not have set roles for a woman and a man?  How long will that take?  Depends on education.  Nature has us accept life as it is.  A sense of allowing.  Seeing what is, acceptance and being willing to change when the opportunity presents itself.

What are your thoughts on this issue?  Do you think that men can feel the resentment we have when we are working that second shift looking after the children and he is watching the TV recuperating from a hard days work, just like you did?

What about nature?  Is it natural that we get married and stay together for the rest of our lives?  Obviously not as most marriages don't last or an arranged marriage which can be a private hell without choices.  Does this fit our natural paths?

We are all looking for your comments.  Get a discussion going.  Can we think a little different about our lives?  Can they tell, we feel resentful in this paternalistic society?








Wednesday, January 11, 2012

A return to the kitchen & the diminishing of equality

Its my pleasure to share Susan's story with you.  Her first guest posting.

We all agree that throughout history, equal rights for women have been hard to come by. I won't digress all the way back to Susan B. Anthony but possibly back to my first memories.

At the beginning of World War II, with men being drafted to the fight on both sides of the globe, women - housewives - were inundated with propaganda to serve the war effort.  With the men gone fighting, women were the only pool available for a workforce badly in need of workers to build aircraft and munitions.

My mother-in-law, at 17, worked in an aircraft factory riveting the nose cone onto the B-17 bombers - a true Rosie the Riveter.  These women, these housewives, left their children in the care of others and joined what had been a male-dominated world by the thousands to help this country's war effort.  Some, for the first time, earned the money that fed and clothed their family, made decisions based on their own thoughts and experiences - were looked upon by others in society as powerful contributors to a cause of immense importance.

Then the war ended, and men returned home to their lives and jobs.  Women were displaced, forced back into low-paying menial positions or back into the kitchens.  Women who had held positions and performed tasks normally relegated to their men, now found themselves devalued.  And for some it was a rough adjustment.

One of my first memories was of my mother working in her flower garden in a pair of pedal-pushers.  In fact, other than church on Sunday, my mother pretty much lived in slacks.  She was a southern lady, having been born in a small town in Mississippi at the height of the depression, and thanks to my father's wishes, was a stay-at-home wife.  She worked in the Camp Shelby cantina during the war and a small mercantile in my father's home town after they married.

But as soon as I was born, she took her "rightful" place as wife and mother. And as all the other women of her acquaintance tried to find their places in this changing America.  Television, a broad new medium, was changing the face of how people viewed the roles of television families.

Ozzie & Harriet, Donna Reed and yes June Cleaver and her ubiquitous pearls, were showing America that it was the man of the household who was the true decision maker.  The little woman got into adventures every week but it was always the strong, silent hubby that brought her back to earth and reminded her of the bond of family. 

Looking back as an older person, I can't help but wonder what the women of that time - those same women who had given selflessly of their time, and sometimes their health, must have thought about the devaluation of their role in the household.  It seemed that the women of that time had to be diminished in importance to make way for men returning home from war.

It's rather ironic that at a horrific juncture in our history, women at last found the equality they had been striving for, only to have it taken away so that men could be returned to their previous positions of power.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Be the first to say Hello

I've been watching the comments section here at my blog and wish to thank you all for participating.  Great insights and sharing.  This is a two way street.  Let me know your thoughts.

Be the first to say hello is a phrase given to me by an exceptional woman I met while in my college days.  She held a secretarial job yet was always willing to state her position and go against the stream of conversation and remain true to herself.

As I was growing up in Sydney Australia it was fashionable to put down foreigners, particularly Asians.  Their culture was so very different, their cooking, language etc.  Within groups the hatred of others was palpable. One could feel the tension in the air.  How did they feel?  They are so tiny and we are giants.

Have you got the courage to be true to yourself and be the first to say hello and open the door?  A smile will often suffice, will break the tension.  I'm tall and have to be extra welcoming as I tower over most people.

Fortunately for me, I had the ability to travel around the world with a backpack for 18 months.  As you can imagine, I learnt a lot about people.  The best education I ever went through.  One thing I noticed was universal, no matter what country, what culture, what religion, people are basically the same.  They want the best for their families and want the world to be a better place for their children than they had as a child.  Humans will migrate, do anything, work hard, go against their parents wished, to make a better place for their kids.

Can we as other humans help them and say hello first.  Break the ice so to speak?  I found that not knowing their language is not sufficient excuse. Their silence or non attention to you, is expression of fear.  You often notice this fear in young people who choose not to look at you. Same thing,fear.  Traveling to over 34 countries all with different dialects etc made no difference.  Always found a way to communicate, even with gestures, whatever it takes, we can do it.

Looking forward to your stories on this issue.  Please do check out others comments for their insights.



Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Good Books, Good Food & A Suitcase Full of Clothes

 Another apt phrase by Hilary Clinton voicing her opinion on how Bill liked to live.  Good books,good food, and a suitcase full of clothes.  Apparently he never cared too much about houses, savings, furniture,transportation, the laundry and you know the rest.

I have to laugh a little.  That carefree phrase reminds me of my college days when that's all I needed to feel great.  Then again, I am reminded of why I came to America.  At that time, women were not allowed to obtain a business loan without a male signature. True story.  I was astounded as you probably are.  Times have changed, but have they really?