As most of you know, I'm on a medical leave for awhile. Gives me time to read more books, which is a passion of mine. Recently came across the book, "Quiet" by Susan Cain. Essentially, its a look at how we are pushed to be more extroverted in order to be "successful", and the cost of that thinking. Yes, she does cover the recent financial debacle we have found ourselves in, wondering if this need to be successful is possibly at the cost of morality?
So, how does "speed dating" fit into this story?
Susan Cain looks at the issue of embarrassment. Embarrassment is a moral emotion. It shows humility, modesty, and a desire to avoid aggression and make peace.
Next time you want to find out about that new date within a few minutes, rather than a few dates, ask this question: "What was your last embarrassing moment?" Watch how the answer comes....truthful, blushing, put on, averted eyes?
Embarrassment reveals how much the individual cares about the rules that bind us to one another!!!!
Isn't that an interesting tip on getting to know people a little quicker?
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Female Independence
Recently, I came across a gal who had been studying anthropology for years now at various universities. She mentioned that her young family had suffered while she studied. Her young husband was supporting them all as a struggling chef. Pragmatic me, asked her about employment possibilities. Yikes.......not good.
Women in America make an average of 23% lower wages than men do, yet they have that extra shift, the night shift when they are doing the laundry, cooking, shopping, cleaning. You know the drift.
In this economic situation, which doesn't look like getting any better any time soon, what would you advise?
If I had daughters in high school right now, and if they asked me what would I advise to do as a career to ensure a steady income and some independence.
My advice would be, look at the trades. Become a welder, iron worker, transit worker, medical, manufacturing, organic farming, cottage industries. Something that is traditionally male dominated, and be better than the guys. I was a project manager for an international construction company and was astounded that there were no other females on these huge projects including the San Francisco Airport Remodel. The only woman was a safety officer who played power games with the men, unfortunately.
My other advice to daughters, get your own place to live no matter how small. Secure it as a refuge from family distractions and a place to recover.
What would be your advice to high school daughters?
Women in America make an average of 23% lower wages than men do, yet they have that extra shift, the night shift when they are doing the laundry, cooking, shopping, cleaning. You know the drift.
In this economic situation, which doesn't look like getting any better any time soon, what would you advise?
If I had daughters in high school right now, and if they asked me what would I advise to do as a career to ensure a steady income and some independence.
My advice would be, look at the trades. Become a welder, iron worker, transit worker, medical, manufacturing, organic farming, cottage industries. Something that is traditionally male dominated, and be better than the guys. I was a project manager for an international construction company and was astounded that there were no other females on these huge projects including the San Francisco Airport Remodel. The only woman was a safety officer who played power games with the men, unfortunately.
My other advice to daughters, get your own place to live no matter how small. Secure it as a refuge from family distractions and a place to recover.
What would be your advice to high school daughters?
Monday, April 9, 2012
Congratulations Aung San Suu Kyi
Aung San Suu Kyi is a democratic female leader of Burma, who has spent the last 15 years under house arrest with time in prison with hard labour for her political views.
April 2nd she was elected to a political seat and leadership of the Democratic Party along with 43 other females.
I have been following her life since I visited Burma, now known as Myanmar. Burma at that time was a communist Buddhist country which only granted 10 day visa's with a $100 spending limit for each visitor.
Burma is one of the poorest countries in Asia due to civil wars since British rule in 1948. A beautiful country with a long coastline. Rangoon is the capital city. Mandalay was a hill station in the north dotted by huge English style homes with wide verandas known as Queenslanders. Also, the old British enfield motorbikes were still running from after the WWII, obviously pieced together by cannibalising many bikes to get one to run. Overall a peaceful Buddhist community, unlike some of the noisier countries like Thailand, Malaysia or India.
Aung San Suu Kyi, is the daughter of one of Burma's former democratic leaders. She is a Nobel Peace Prize winner. Educated, tenacious and smart. She has had huge international support entertaining various international leaders at her home over the years of house arrest, notably Hillary Clinton, a huge fan.
Aung San Suu Kyi, an inspiration to all women around the world. In the leagues with Nelson Mandela, another soldier for democracy.
April 2nd she was elected to a political seat and leadership of the Democratic Party along with 43 other females.
I have been following her life since I visited Burma, now known as Myanmar. Burma at that time was a communist Buddhist country which only granted 10 day visa's with a $100 spending limit for each visitor.
Burma is one of the poorest countries in Asia due to civil wars since British rule in 1948. A beautiful country with a long coastline. Rangoon is the capital city. Mandalay was a hill station in the north dotted by huge English style homes with wide verandas known as Queenslanders. Also, the old British enfield motorbikes were still running from after the WWII, obviously pieced together by cannibalising many bikes to get one to run. Overall a peaceful Buddhist community, unlike some of the noisier countries like Thailand, Malaysia or India.
Aung San Suu Kyi, is the daughter of one of Burma's former democratic leaders. She is a Nobel Peace Prize winner. Educated, tenacious and smart. She has had huge international support entertaining various international leaders at her home over the years of house arrest, notably Hillary Clinton, a huge fan.
Aung San Suu Kyi, an inspiration to all women around the world. In the leagues with Nelson Mandela, another soldier for democracy.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Vacation
I'll be taking a little vacation from this blog while I work on my cancer.
Be back soon and please let me know what issues you want some research on. Your comments are called for.
We've got a long way to go with women like the S.C. governor stating recently that " women aren't interested in contraception". Family Planning clinics may become a thing of the past.
I won't give up, nor can you.
Be back soon and please let me know what issues you want some research on. Your comments are called for.
We've got a long way to go with women like the S.C. governor stating recently that " women aren't interested in contraception". Family Planning clinics may become a thing of the past.
I won't give up, nor can you.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Norway - can we learn from them?
Women in Norway versus women in the Arab States.
Both areas are oil rich societies, yet the contrast in women's equality is staggering as is the standard of living.
Norway has two laws which amazed me. Government must have forty percent representation by females. The second law is more interesting, all company boards must have 40 percent representation by women.
Recently in Egypt, women applied for hundreds of government positions, yet were granted 2% only. A start.
Do you think we would be in this unethical financial debacle if all our boards held 40% female representation?
Both areas are oil rich societies, yet the contrast in women's equality is staggering as is the standard of living.
Norway has two laws which amazed me. Government must have forty percent representation by females. The second law is more interesting, all company boards must have 40 percent representation by women.
Recently in Egypt, women applied for hundreds of government positions, yet were granted 2% only. A start.
Do you think we would be in this unethical financial debacle if all our boards held 40% female representation?
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Destiny
I think about women's equality issues a lot. Goes along with tolerance of each other which has always been close to my heart. Anyone who has been following these postings from the beginning knows how I feel about tolerance.
What would equality look like? Same rules apply to both genders essentially. Able to earn the same wages, defend the country, be represented in government or board rooms which is where the power really is, etc. Many issues would need to be changed.
How many of us are guided by our own gut feelings, our DESTINY in other words? Probably not too many of us. As we grew up, the media through television, magazines, movies played a huge part in how we viewed our roles in society. Our aspirations where often set by others, wanting the latest trendsetter, the biggest house, the cutest car, clothes etc. Our preferences or prejudices were often set by others without a second thought.
How many of us are guided by our churches, temples,groups, clans, which set up expectations of male leadership and female subservience?
The point is, do we as women listen to our own common sense in regards to how we value ourselves or are influenced by others? Can we envision turning off all those constant communications coming at us from the Internet and whatever sources of media we prefer? Can we listen to ourselves, our DESTINY? Would that make us stronger?
What do you think?
What would equality look like? Same rules apply to both genders essentially. Able to earn the same wages, defend the country, be represented in government or board rooms which is where the power really is, etc. Many issues would need to be changed.
How many of us are guided by our own gut feelings, our DESTINY in other words? Probably not too many of us. As we grew up, the media through television, magazines, movies played a huge part in how we viewed our roles in society. Our aspirations where often set by others, wanting the latest trendsetter, the biggest house, the cutest car, clothes etc. Our preferences or prejudices were often set by others without a second thought.
How many of us are guided by our churches, temples,groups, clans, which set up expectations of male leadership and female subservience?
The point is, do we as women listen to our own common sense in regards to how we value ourselves or are influenced by others? Can we envision turning off all those constant communications coming at us from the Internet and whatever sources of media we prefer? Can we listen to ourselves, our DESTINY? Would that make us stronger?
What do you think?
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Wake Up Gals, Your Right to an Abortion is Quietly Fading
Twenty States in the US now require abortion providers to conduct ultrasounds before the procedure.
In Texas she must have an ultrasound probe inserted into her vagina, which is state sanctioned rape. Rape is defined as "putting any object into an orifice against a person's will". She must undergo lecturing by superiors and made to wait another 24 hours. Four states are also considering adding this lecturing and rape to their current legislation, according to the Guttmacher Institute, a research organization.
Texas also cut spending on family planning by 66% last year. Many states are seeking ways to abolish Family Planning out of their budgets entirely.
These new abortion laws are demeaning and disrespectful of women's rights.
The fact that women's health is suffering at the hands of political gymnastics which has been going on as long as mankind has been alive.
How many women now know that one has to endure all types of additional hindrances to obtain an abortion? Ideally, abortion shouldn't be an issue. Anyone who has raised teenage children know that abstinence is a fantasy that some churches promote. Often teenagers will never admit they are sexually active to their parents. An IUD for girls is ideal, and it costs $632 which a lot of parents can't afford. Birth control pills are also expensive, and often the lack of discipline to take them daily has its toll.
Remember, currently 67% of all births in the US are now to single mothers. Obviously, the politicians would like to increase the social burden on the rest of us by increasing those numbers and making sure that more than one in five children live in poverty or below as is the current statistics coming out of Washington.
Common sense does not prevail here. Feels like we are all asleep at the wheel? Taking away women's self respect, the hands of a male dominated society, is similar to stoning women in third world countries.
What are your thoughts on this issue?
In Texas she must have an ultrasound probe inserted into her vagina, which is state sanctioned rape. Rape is defined as "putting any object into an orifice against a person's will". She must undergo lecturing by superiors and made to wait another 24 hours. Four states are also considering adding this lecturing and rape to their current legislation, according to the Guttmacher Institute, a research organization.
Texas also cut spending on family planning by 66% last year. Many states are seeking ways to abolish Family Planning out of their budgets entirely.
These new abortion laws are demeaning and disrespectful of women's rights.
The fact that women's health is suffering at the hands of political gymnastics which has been going on as long as mankind has been alive.
How many women now know that one has to endure all types of additional hindrances to obtain an abortion? Ideally, abortion shouldn't be an issue. Anyone who has raised teenage children know that abstinence is a fantasy that some churches promote. Often teenagers will never admit they are sexually active to their parents. An IUD for girls is ideal, and it costs $632 which a lot of parents can't afford. Birth control pills are also expensive, and often the lack of discipline to take them daily has its toll.
Remember, currently 67% of all births in the US are now to single mothers. Obviously, the politicians would like to increase the social burden on the rest of us by increasing those numbers and making sure that more than one in five children live in poverty or below as is the current statistics coming out of Washington.
Common sense does not prevail here. Feels like we are all asleep at the wheel? Taking away women's self respect, the hands of a male dominated society, is similar to stoning women in third world countries.
What are your thoughts on this issue?
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Womens Support
I was talking with my webmaster, Debbie and she suggested this topic.
Years ago, I went to the American Cancer Society. They had me fill out this form listing ten friends, phone numbers and addresses. These ten friends would be committed to help me while in cancer recovery.
Yeah, right! No way did I have ten friends who would be willing to run errands, feed me, or drive me to doctors etc. I could come up with three. That's it.
This little excerise was very telling to me and I never forgot it!
I made it my business to invest in REAL friends. Friends who stick by you through thick and thin! The only way to do this, of course, is to be willing and able to do the same for others. You do get tested over the years.
We all are reluctant to ask for help. Rejection being a factor, as well as embarrassment. Learnt from an unusual male source, a young yoga instructor, that sometimes we can give to others by allowing them to help us. There is a sense of satifiscation when one reaches out and helps another.
Women have a tendency to give and give to our families, yet this is often taken for granted. Your friends don't take you for granted!
Years ago, I went to the American Cancer Society. They had me fill out this form listing ten friends, phone numbers and addresses. These ten friends would be committed to help me while in cancer recovery.
Yeah, right! No way did I have ten friends who would be willing to run errands, feed me, or drive me to doctors etc. I could come up with three. That's it.
This little excerise was very telling to me and I never forgot it!
I made it my business to invest in REAL friends. Friends who stick by you through thick and thin! The only way to do this, of course, is to be willing and able to do the same for others. You do get tested over the years.
We all are reluctant to ask for help. Rejection being a factor, as well as embarrassment. Learnt from an unusual male source, a young yoga instructor, that sometimes we can give to others by allowing them to help us. There is a sense of satifiscation when one reaches out and helps another.
Women have a tendency to give and give to our families, yet this is often taken for granted. Your friends don't take you for granted!
Friday, March 9, 2012
Gender Equality is Required for World Stability
Recently I wrote about child marriage and how it essentially keeps countries improvised.
Ideally fifty percent of governmental leadership would be female. Could you imagine how different the world would be? Not in our lifetime perhaps?
Monumental events have happened: women getting the vote, man lands on the moon, dismantling the USSR, the fall of the Berlin wall, and the recent Arab Spring. All monumental shifts in humanity.
I remember Archbishop Desmond Tutu, one of my heroes, approaching Oprah Winfrey asking her to run for President of the United States. He stated that "until women run the world, we will continue to have wars".
Some of this female empowerment is seen in various cultures. I really noticed how advanced females were in the United States versus Australia. Some European cultures also come to mind, eg. danish, dutch, swedish etc. Also, I noticed years ago that Israel had a population of approximately 8 million, surrounded by 800 Arab nationals, yet that have been able to hold their own. Why is that? Female equality through women being respected as a valuable resource. Women have been in their military and are encouraged to participate on all levels. I spent some lovely time in the middle east too, and noticed that the national pastime was to disagree with one another. Seemed like a sport to me, nonetheless it doesn't strengthen the community.
Imagine, yes imagine...what the world would be like if we created gender balances. I see the Internet being the vehicle. Information being shared freely, world wide.
I love that phrase....think like a man, act like a woman.
What are your thoughts?
Ideally fifty percent of governmental leadership would be female. Could you imagine how different the world would be? Not in our lifetime perhaps?
Monumental events have happened: women getting the vote, man lands on the moon, dismantling the USSR, the fall of the Berlin wall, and the recent Arab Spring. All monumental shifts in humanity.
I remember Archbishop Desmond Tutu, one of my heroes, approaching Oprah Winfrey asking her to run for President of the United States. He stated that "until women run the world, we will continue to have wars".
Some of this female empowerment is seen in various cultures. I really noticed how advanced females were in the United States versus Australia. Some European cultures also come to mind, eg. danish, dutch, swedish etc. Also, I noticed years ago that Israel had a population of approximately 8 million, surrounded by 800 Arab nationals, yet that have been able to hold their own. Why is that? Female equality through women being respected as a valuable resource. Women have been in their military and are encouraged to participate on all levels. I spent some lovely time in the middle east too, and noticed that the national pastime was to disagree with one another. Seemed like a sport to me, nonetheless it doesn't strengthen the community.
Imagine, yes imagine...what the world would be like if we created gender balances. I see the Internet being the vehicle. Information being shared freely, world wide.
I love that phrase....think like a man, act like a woman.
What are your thoughts?
Monday, March 5, 2012
A Woman Should Have
contributed by Sally S.
Maya Anagelou's
A Woman Should Have....
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...
something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...
A Woman Should Have....
a youth she's content to leave behind....
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra..
one friend who always makes her laugh..and one who lets her cry
A Woman Should Have...
a feeling of control over her destiny...
how to fall in love without losing herself....
Every Woman Should Know...
how to quit a job
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without ruining the friendship
when to try harder and when to walk away
Every Woman Should Know
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over....
Every Woman Should Know
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...
how to live alone...even if she doesn't like it
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally....
Every Woman Should Know
where to go ...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table...
or a charming Inn in the woods..
when her soul needs soothing...
Every Woman Should Know
what she can and can't accomplish in a day..
a month....and a year....
Maya Anagelou's
A Woman Should Have....
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...
something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...
A Woman Should Have....
a youth she's content to leave behind....
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra..
one friend who always makes her laugh..and one who lets her cry
A Woman Should Have...
a feeling of control over her destiny...
how to fall in love without losing herself....
Every Woman Should Know...
how to quit a job
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without ruining the friendship
when to try harder and when to walk away
Every Woman Should Know
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over....
Every Woman Should Know
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...
how to live alone...even if she doesn't like it
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally....
Every Woman Should Know
where to go ...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table...
or a charming Inn in the woods..
when her soul needs soothing...
Every Woman Should Know
what she can and can't accomplish in a day..
a month....and a year....
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Child Marriage
Child marriage is a practice prevalent where girls are married off between the ages of fifteen and eighteen.
Fifty percent of the population is female, yet they will have no power due to child marriage. Societies that condone this practice never prosper. Much of Africa has a current rate of 72% of girls being married with India having a rate of 49%.
I witnessed this practice in Afghanistan while I was there. Very sad indeed.
Girls will be married off to older men for financial and sexual reasons. She has no power to disobey what ever insanity he may want. As she is his property she may be whipped, tortured or killed at his pleasure. He may arrange her demise so he can marry another.
Children born to young girls under eighteen are 68% likely to die before they turn one. Girls are more prone to death or injury due to early sexual activity and early childbearing. A girl under the age of fifteen is five times more likely to die in childbirth than a woman in her twenties.
As young brides often have older husbands, they may not have the power to negotiate safe sexual behaviour. This means they are more vulnerable to HIV infection and more likely to suffer domestic violence. Girls who marry young cannot complete their education increasing the power gap between men and women.
Taken together, the cost of this practice is extremely high and will ensure societies/countries staying in poverty.
Progress has been made as awareness is communicated and accepted. In India until changes were made by the English, there were practices where upon her husbands death and cremation, the bride had to leap into the fire to be with her husband. Too much of a financial burden to the rest of the community in reality. Also stopped, was the practice of all the women of the defeated warring faction, required to leap into a fire pit. Barbaric to be sure and real within our humanity.
Thanks for taking the time to read and understand why women of this world suffer such inequality. Education! Education will eventually change the inequality. How fast or how slow?
Gandi said "you be the change you want to see in this world".
Your thoughts please!
Fifty percent of the population is female, yet they will have no power due to child marriage. Societies that condone this practice never prosper. Much of Africa has a current rate of 72% of girls being married with India having a rate of 49%.
I witnessed this practice in Afghanistan while I was there. Very sad indeed.
Girls will be married off to older men for financial and sexual reasons. She has no power to disobey what ever insanity he may want. As she is his property she may be whipped, tortured or killed at his pleasure. He may arrange her demise so he can marry another.
Children born to young girls under eighteen are 68% likely to die before they turn one. Girls are more prone to death or injury due to early sexual activity and early childbearing. A girl under the age of fifteen is five times more likely to die in childbirth than a woman in her twenties.
As young brides often have older husbands, they may not have the power to negotiate safe sexual behaviour. This means they are more vulnerable to HIV infection and more likely to suffer domestic violence. Girls who marry young cannot complete their education increasing the power gap between men and women.
Taken together, the cost of this practice is extremely high and will ensure societies/countries staying in poverty.
Progress has been made as awareness is communicated and accepted. In India until changes were made by the English, there were practices where upon her husbands death and cremation, the bride had to leap into the fire to be with her husband. Too much of a financial burden to the rest of the community in reality. Also stopped, was the practice of all the women of the defeated warring faction, required to leap into a fire pit. Barbaric to be sure and real within our humanity.
Thanks for taking the time to read and understand why women of this world suffer such inequality. Education! Education will eventually change the inequality. How fast or how slow?
Gandi said "you be the change you want to see in this world".
Your thoughts please!
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Humor - a little spice in our lives
Hey, we all need a little humor and this little gem was passed on to me by Elizabeth A.
Its good to be a woman.
We got off the Titantic first.
We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
Taxis stop for us.
We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival the Speedo.
We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
We have the ability to dress ourselves.
We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
We will never regret piercing our ears.
There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.
Its good to be a woman.
We got off the Titantic first.
We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
Taxis stop for us.
We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival the Speedo.
We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
We have the ability to dress ourselves.
We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
We will never regret piercing our ears.
There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Female Genital Mutilation/Cutting
Are you aware of this practice where older women hold down the young girls, cut off their clitorises using glass? This is done so that women will not be interested in sex. Otherwise, men may be enticed by females to rape them, as men cannot be expected to have discipline. Also the reason that women must wear dark colored burkquas despite soaring temperatures of over 100 degrees. Religions have instituted this practice to help men overcome their lust.
I know, some of you are laughing so much, you will wet your panties, or cry with sadness.
According to the United Nations, each year, around three million girls and women - some 8,000 GIRLS EACH DAY - face the risk of mutilation or cutting. An estimated 130 million girls and women have undergone the practice in Muslim countries.
Were you aware of this practice? How would you feel about having eight women sit on you and cut off your clitoris without anesthetic?
Why I write this blog is to create some awareness of female inequality? Please write some comments and if you have undergone this procedure yourself please let us understand the other side of this issue.
I know, some of you are laughing so much, you will wet your panties, or cry with sadness.
According to the United Nations, each year, around three million girls and women - some 8,000 GIRLS EACH DAY - face the risk of mutilation or cutting. An estimated 130 million girls and women have undergone the practice in Muslim countries.
Were you aware of this practice? How would you feel about having eight women sit on you and cut off your clitoris without anesthetic?
Why I write this blog is to create some awareness of female inequality? Please write some comments and if you have undergone this procedure yourself please let us understand the other side of this issue.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Do We Want Equality?
I've been thinking about this issue quite a bit.
When making love with your partner, do you mostly need to switch back to being a feminine person? It works best for me that way. How about you?
Yet, in the rest of my life, I'm working right along side of men, in the trenches so to speak, working full time, as well as running a household, looking after a baby granddaughter 40 hours a week and going to hot yoga at every opportunity. My personal gift to myself. Some semblance of balance.
We women no longer wear dresses. Dresses do make one feel feminine. They show off ones curves and attract those men like flies, which secretly we love.
Yet, they are totally impractical to work in. Can you make presentations in the board room without sexism creeping in? While wearing dresses, can you climb into an SUV with bags of groceries, clean up the kids who are hungry, keep the dishwasher monster under control as well as the laundry which is calling you constantly. Or work all day in shoes with heels so you can feel and look feminine?
How do you feel feminine? Do you feel relaxed enough, stress free enough to be affectionate with your partner? Do you want to stay home and have your partner bring in the bacon yet control you due to the resentment that often is harbored by the working partner? Do you want equality?
When making love with your partner, do you mostly need to switch back to being a feminine person? It works best for me that way. How about you?
Yet, in the rest of my life, I'm working right along side of men, in the trenches so to speak, working full time, as well as running a household, looking after a baby granddaughter 40 hours a week and going to hot yoga at every opportunity. My personal gift to myself. Some semblance of balance.
We women no longer wear dresses. Dresses do make one feel feminine. They show off ones curves and attract those men like flies, which secretly we love.
Yet, they are totally impractical to work in. Can you make presentations in the board room without sexism creeping in? While wearing dresses, can you climb into an SUV with bags of groceries, clean up the kids who are hungry, keep the dishwasher monster under control as well as the laundry which is calling you constantly. Or work all day in shoes with heels so you can feel and look feminine?
How do you feel feminine? Do you feel relaxed enough, stress free enough to be affectionate with your partner? Do you want to stay home and have your partner bring in the bacon yet control you due to the resentment that often is harbored by the working partner? Do you want equality?
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Forgiveness
I do not forgive because I'm weak. I forgive because I am strong enough to know that people make mistakes.
We women are so very strong. We endure child birth, child rearing, working at a full time job, along with the child rearing, yet, we outlive our men by an average of six years.
Yet men rule the world - rule us essentially!
They are the captains and kings of industry who decide which products or services will be produced and at what cost to society. They choose which politicians to endorse/control. They choose which countries, peoples should be annihilated, how and when to conduct wars. They control how to think through religions and the media.
Its not the problem that's the problem. It's how we see the problem that's the problem.
I do not forgive because I'm weak. I forgive because I am strong enough to know that people make mistakes.
We women are so very strong. We endure child birth, child rearing, working at a full time job, along with the child rearing, yet, we outlive our men by an average of six years.
Yet men rule the world - rule us essentially!
They are the captains and kings of industry who decide which products or services will be produced and at what cost to society. They choose which politicians to endorse/control. They choose which countries, peoples should be annihilated, how and when to conduct wars. They control how to think through religions and the media.
Its not the problem that's the problem. It's how we see the problem that's the problem.
I do not forgive because I'm weak. I forgive because I am strong enough to know that people make mistakes.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Future of the Tradition of Marriage
I've been reading more and more about trends in both Europe and colleges in America where marriage is seen as a "life sentence".
Apparently more and more young people are "hooking up" with others to have sex for as long as its pleasurable. Often meeting on Friday or Saturday night after drinks, getting together for the evening and living their independent lives for the rest of the week. No commitments. Working and getting ahead is viewed more important than raising a family.
Statistics will prove this trend as true as 67% of babies are now born to single mothers. Divorce is over 50%.
This trend does lend itself to more equality than our grandmothers had. An even further gap between Sharia law and trends in the western world. It does provide more sexual satisfaction for both men and women.
The Hollywood created concept of coupling and living happily ever after would be history? I wonder? Where do you see the concept of marriage heading in your country?
Please scroll onto comments below.
Apparently more and more young people are "hooking up" with others to have sex for as long as its pleasurable. Often meeting on Friday or Saturday night after drinks, getting together for the evening and living their independent lives for the rest of the week. No commitments. Working and getting ahead is viewed more important than raising a family.
Statistics will prove this trend as true as 67% of babies are now born to single mothers. Divorce is over 50%.
This trend does lend itself to more equality than our grandmothers had. An even further gap between Sharia law and trends in the western world. It does provide more sexual satisfaction for both men and women.
The Hollywood created concept of coupling and living happily ever after would be history? I wonder? Where do you see the concept of marriage heading in your country?
Please scroll onto comments below.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Black, White, or Shades of Grey
Guest Post by Susan V.
There are certain things that throughout time have proven to be black or white:
The Ten Commandments - you shall not kill or steal, or you shall probably go to jail, or worse.
You shall not covet your neighbor's ass, nor his wife, nor his wife's ass, or you may get a butt full of buckshot.
You shall not take the Lord's name in vain, - people will think you have a limited vocabulary and are too stupid to think of better ways to express yourself.
You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor - in other words, don't lie, don't spread gossip about people of your acquaintance or you may end up with no acquaintances at all.
Then there's the Golden Rule... Do unto others as you would have others do unto you, treat people decently and they will, usually, treat you in kind.
These are black and white rules that we have lived with for generations. We all know right from wrong, good from bad, and we know when we are doing something we shouldn't - we know these things because they play out in our everyday lives and have proven themselves over and over....kill, steal - away you go, covet and it's buckshot for you. But when the question of equality is raised, is there really a black or white answer to how a woman achieves it, or does her personal quest for equality come in shades of grey?
I can't help but feel that the correlation between equality and a women's personal feelings of self worth are directly related. That her perception of her "place" within her family, social circle,community and work place all contribute to how she sees herself in relation to the people around her.
Most working women know what it feels like to be on the low end of the pole in the work place - to have her contribution to the working environment down played by the men around her. Even when she works harder, contributes more and has a broader knowledge of how the company actually functions. In social circles, and the community at large, isn't it the women who bring people together to celebrate special occasions, to enlist groups to volunteer and contribute? And in the family unit, its the mother/wife who holds the family together through"thick and thin", calm the waters when disputes arise, ...................its always the woman.
Why then is equality such an issue at all? Aren't the contributions women make to the lives around them just as important as the contributions of men? Are women somehow programmed from a very early age to accept the lesser role in life, therefor contributing to a diminished self worth? Did the very women who raised us instill a "acquiescent" gene in us that makes us feel that somehow, while we may feel we deserve the same recognition of the men in our lives, that is not so? We are intelligent, thinking women. We have in our hands the power to be who and what we want to be. We know right from wrong, good from bad but do we fight for black or white when it comes to our personal equality or do we settle for shades of grey.
Go ahead.....scroll over "comments" below and put your own words here.
There are certain things that throughout time have proven to be black or white:
The Ten Commandments - you shall not kill or steal, or you shall probably go to jail, or worse.
You shall not covet your neighbor's ass, nor his wife, nor his wife's ass, or you may get a butt full of buckshot.
You shall not take the Lord's name in vain, - people will think you have a limited vocabulary and are too stupid to think of better ways to express yourself.
You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor - in other words, don't lie, don't spread gossip about people of your acquaintance or you may end up with no acquaintances at all.
Then there's the Golden Rule... Do unto others as you would have others do unto you, treat people decently and they will, usually, treat you in kind.
These are black and white rules that we have lived with for generations. We all know right from wrong, good from bad, and we know when we are doing something we shouldn't - we know these things because they play out in our everyday lives and have proven themselves over and over....kill, steal - away you go, covet and it's buckshot for you. But when the question of equality is raised, is there really a black or white answer to how a woman achieves it, or does her personal quest for equality come in shades of grey?
I can't help but feel that the correlation between equality and a women's personal feelings of self worth are directly related. That her perception of her "place" within her family, social circle,community and work place all contribute to how she sees herself in relation to the people around her.
Most working women know what it feels like to be on the low end of the pole in the work place - to have her contribution to the working environment down played by the men around her. Even when she works harder, contributes more and has a broader knowledge of how the company actually functions. In social circles, and the community at large, isn't it the women who bring people together to celebrate special occasions, to enlist groups to volunteer and contribute? And in the family unit, its the mother/wife who holds the family together through"thick and thin", calm the waters when disputes arise, ...................its always the woman.
Why then is equality such an issue at all? Aren't the contributions women make to the lives around them just as important as the contributions of men? Are women somehow programmed from a very early age to accept the lesser role in life, therefor contributing to a diminished self worth? Did the very women who raised us instill a "acquiescent" gene in us that makes us feel that somehow, while we may feel we deserve the same recognition of the men in our lives, that is not so? We are intelligent, thinking women. We have in our hands the power to be who and what we want to be. We know right from wrong, good from bad but do we fight for black or white when it comes to our personal equality or do we settle for shades of grey.
Go ahead.....scroll over "comments" below and put your own words here.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
190 Countries 9 Female Leaders
Australia, Germany, Brazil, Ireland, Finland,Liberia, Iceland, Costa Rica and Kosovo have female leaders, another eleven have female heads of state. Some may be figureheads only.
This ratio stunned me. I know we have made progress and yet the number still amazes me. So little power in the world. Does this amaze you? Or is it only me?
Makes me question equality? Is it possible? Are we meant to compete with men for power, for our point of view? For no wars, less greed, less need to look good to our buddies? For a more peaceful existence. We are always the reconcilers in our families, we are the ones who make ends meet, somehow!
I remember the beginning of the women's movement in the 60's. So much hope that opportunities would open for women. They have somewhat, and at what price? American women are viewed by others as extremely aggressive, yet we haven't achieved equality in the work place nor the home.
Once again, I want to mention why I started this blog. To create exchange of ideas, strengthening tolerance and equality. We have a long way to go. That is how I see it, how do you see it? Make a comment by scrolling over the word "comments" below.
This ratio stunned me. I know we have made progress and yet the number still amazes me. So little power in the world. Does this amaze you? Or is it only me?
Makes me question equality? Is it possible? Are we meant to compete with men for power, for our point of view? For no wars, less greed, less need to look good to our buddies? For a more peaceful existence. We are always the reconcilers in our families, we are the ones who make ends meet, somehow!
I remember the beginning of the women's movement in the 60's. So much hope that opportunities would open for women. They have somewhat, and at what price? American women are viewed by others as extremely aggressive, yet we haven't achieved equality in the work place nor the home.
Once again, I want to mention why I started this blog. To create exchange of ideas, strengthening tolerance and equality. We have a long way to go. That is how I see it, how do you see it? Make a comment by scrolling over the word "comments" below.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Reading List 2011
Currently Reading:
Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson......loving it.
Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel.....interesting book about eroticism keeping marriages intact
Read in 2011
Sex at Dawn by Christopher Ryan
why marriage will eventually be a tradition of the past.
Twelve by Twelve.....by William Powers
best book of 2011 rethinking consumerism, living in a space 12 x 12,permaculture,ecoculture.
The Art of Non Conformity by Chris Guilebeau
thinking outside the box and creating funds for world travelling.
Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert
another look at marriage
The How of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky
latest research on what makes us happy......maybe skip it
The Mesh by Lisa Gansky
exciting book about new business models this the current economy.
My Abandonment by Peter Rock
true story about a child kidnapping seen through the eyes of a young girl. Amazing book.
Sh*t My Dad Says by Justin Harper
funny and true witticisms about life.
Sway -The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behaviour
interesting look at peoples behaviour
Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn
fabulous book about relationships - not just parenting. hang it to the second half.
Yoga & The Path of the Urban Mystic by Darren Main
loved this book about how a guy transformed his life through yoga
The Power of Half by Salwen
consumerism yet again, small fun inspiring book
Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson......loving it.
Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel.....interesting book about eroticism keeping marriages intact
Read in 2011
Sex at Dawn by Christopher Ryan
why marriage will eventually be a tradition of the past.
Twelve by Twelve.....by William Powers
best book of 2011 rethinking consumerism, living in a space 12 x 12,permaculture,ecoculture.
The Art of Non Conformity by Chris Guilebeau
thinking outside the box and creating funds for world travelling.
Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert
another look at marriage
The How of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky
latest research on what makes us happy......maybe skip it
The Mesh by Lisa Gansky
exciting book about new business models this the current economy.
My Abandonment by Peter Rock
true story about a child kidnapping seen through the eyes of a young girl. Amazing book.
Sh*t My Dad Says by Justin Harper
funny and true witticisms about life.
Sway -The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behaviour
interesting look at peoples behaviour
Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn
fabulous book about relationships - not just parenting. hang it to the second half.
Yoga & The Path of the Urban Mystic by Darren Main
loved this book about how a guy transformed his life through yoga
The Power of Half by Salwen
consumerism yet again, small fun inspiring book
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Knowledge is Power - Sex & Money
This blog is about equality. Mans laws may be against us and there are ways to even the balance between the sexes. You may scoff at how simplicistic they are, but do we do these things on a regular basis?
I think that all divorces can be boiled down to two issues, sex or money. One or both parties are not happy in one or both of these arenas. They can mask it as not enough time together, the kids, the other's method of handling or creating income or spending habits. Whatever, it's always sex or money.
Women want equality. Are we willing to learn to handle these two issues? Knowledge is power. If you are creating the funds, and can keep your partner sexually satisfied on a daily basis, the power balance is going to go your way.
How can we do this? Education. Making life choices which are consistent with our personal fulfillment.
How often do you read non fiction books? One a week? College education can only help along in opening doors to a career. It's the life long education that will increase our knowledge base.
Knowledge on eroticism is going to increase your fulfillment as much as your partner. Most of us think we know all there is to know. Wrong. Pleasure is a life long study. Are you centered enough and stress free enough to be able to spend time each day pleasuring yourself and your partner?
But heck, I have two kids, a job and no time. Make time! Rethink your priorities. Your kids know how to get your attention. Are you giving attention to yourself and your partner? How do you feel about your body? Do you exercise, eat right,etc. Study erotic education? Sex is as fundamental as easting, yet we often neglect this aspecto of our lives, or use it as a power play with our partner. Slow down, pay attention. If you're not interested, maybe learn a little. It may pay handsomely to the quality of your life.
The other method of equality I'd like to discuss is money. Feeling that your basic needs are net and that you, not anyone else, has the ability to meet those needs. Once again, education is where its at. No, not attending a college, self education, study,study,study. Can you be independent? Is it possible to become self reliant? If you have children, this idea still applys. Your children will become stronger if they observe your self reliance.
If you wish, I can recommend a reading list to get started. Make a request in the comments section.
How do you see these two issues in regards to equality? How does it play out in your life? Sex and money will be gone over and over in future postings in this blog.
I think that all divorces can be boiled down to two issues, sex or money. One or both parties are not happy in one or both of these arenas. They can mask it as not enough time together, the kids, the other's method of handling or creating income or spending habits. Whatever, it's always sex or money.
Women want equality. Are we willing to learn to handle these two issues? Knowledge is power. If you are creating the funds, and can keep your partner sexually satisfied on a daily basis, the power balance is going to go your way.
How can we do this? Education. Making life choices which are consistent with our personal fulfillment.
How often do you read non fiction books? One a week? College education can only help along in opening doors to a career. It's the life long education that will increase our knowledge base.
Knowledge on eroticism is going to increase your fulfillment as much as your partner. Most of us think we know all there is to know. Wrong. Pleasure is a life long study. Are you centered enough and stress free enough to be able to spend time each day pleasuring yourself and your partner?
But heck, I have two kids, a job and no time. Make time! Rethink your priorities. Your kids know how to get your attention. Are you giving attention to yourself and your partner? How do you feel about your body? Do you exercise, eat right,etc. Study erotic education? Sex is as fundamental as easting, yet we often neglect this aspecto of our lives, or use it as a power play with our partner. Slow down, pay attention. If you're not interested, maybe learn a little. It may pay handsomely to the quality of your life.
The other method of equality I'd like to discuss is money. Feeling that your basic needs are net and that you, not anyone else, has the ability to meet those needs. Once again, education is where its at. No, not attending a college, self education, study,study,study. Can you be independent? Is it possible to become self reliant? If you have children, this idea still applys. Your children will become stronger if they observe your self reliance.
If you wish, I can recommend a reading list to get started. Make a request in the comments section.
How do you see these two issues in regards to equality? How does it play out in your life? Sex and money will be gone over and over in future postings in this blog.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Men Are Funny
Men are funny just like us. We all do weird stuff.
My friend Helen from Sydney Australia gave me this little phrase. Men swear when they can't find words. Hey, its a put down and there may be an element of truth to it.
Don't get me wrong, we don't want to put those guys down. We love em! Mostly. Our dads, our brothers, hubby's, friends. Living without them wouldn't be any fun. We just don't want to be controlled by them, right!
This blog is definitely not about bashing men. It's more about how we as women can work towards equality. Female empowerment you might say.
Life is a lot more exciting if one is conscious. Maybe make a little more effort in looking at how we think and why we do what we do at any given moment. We can get into a rut, thinking we can't change our circumstances and feel anger and resentment.
Hopefully this blog will inspire you a little bit to share with others your experiences on creating a more equal world. Just that little extra effort goes a long way. Have you been reading this blog and making no comments, or not be willing to become a follower just because you are a little lazy? Jump in, make friends here. Give us your stories, your version of what makes a difference.
Men are funny, but so are we. Humor is the best way of breaking the ice! Com on now, get with it?
My friend Helen from Sydney Australia gave me this little phrase. Men swear when they can't find words. Hey, its a put down and there may be an element of truth to it.
Don't get me wrong, we don't want to put those guys down. We love em! Mostly. Our dads, our brothers, hubby's, friends. Living without them wouldn't be any fun. We just don't want to be controlled by them, right!
This blog is definitely not about bashing men. It's more about how we as women can work towards equality. Female empowerment you might say.
Life is a lot more exciting if one is conscious. Maybe make a little more effort in looking at how we think and why we do what we do at any given moment. We can get into a rut, thinking we can't change our circumstances and feel anger and resentment.
Hopefully this blog will inspire you a little bit to share with others your experiences on creating a more equal world. Just that little extra effort goes a long way. Have you been reading this blog and making no comments, or not be willing to become a follower just because you are a little lazy? Jump in, make friends here. Give us your stories, your version of what makes a difference.
Men are funny, but so are we. Humor is the best way of breaking the ice! Com on now, get with it?
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Can They Tell?
I keep wondering. Do other people sense what you're thinking?
Strange subject for an equality blog?
There is a persistent resentment underling the psyches of women. Yes, the inequalities are not as bad as they used to be. Nevertheless, they are still there. Women still have to work harder to earn equal pay, prove themselves more capable in higher education levels, are often dismissed in politics, and the list goes on and on. You know the drill.
Have you ever noticed that when you feel sad or sick, your pet knows way before anyone else does? They snuggle up and comfort you as much as they can. My thinking is that men have the same type of instinct. They can sense the resentment that we feel and do react, often unconsciously. This tension may be expressed in various levels of coping mechanisms.
One in three of us uses some type of substance to cope with life, be it alcohol,drugs, processed foods etc. The pressures that we live with, have we ever thought about why we do these things? Why do we get married, have children we can't support, work two jobs, eat unconsciously?
Personally, I think we allow ourselves to be controlled by religions that are backed up by the propaganda machine, the media. As you may know, I travelled extensively around the world and was totally amazed at how religions of all sorts ruled societies. Don't get me wrong, I know that there is a universal power that creates all that there is. I also know that I can think for myself and observe that the law of nature is much more in line with my thinking than is the law of man.
Perhaps if we lived by our natures versus the rule of religion/media some of this tension between us would dissipate? I wonder. Would it be possible to not have set roles for a woman and a man? How long will that take? Depends on education. Nature has us accept life as it is. A sense of allowing. Seeing what is, acceptance and being willing to change when the opportunity presents itself.
What are your thoughts on this issue? Do you think that men can feel the resentment we have when we are working that second shift looking after the children and he is watching the TV recuperating from a hard days work, just like you did?
What about nature? Is it natural that we get married and stay together for the rest of our lives? Obviously not as most marriages don't last or an arranged marriage which can be a private hell without choices. Does this fit our natural paths?
We are all looking for your comments. Get a discussion going. Can we think a little different about our lives? Can they tell, we feel resentful in this paternalistic society?
Strange subject for an equality blog?
There is a persistent resentment underling the psyches of women. Yes, the inequalities are not as bad as they used to be. Nevertheless, they are still there. Women still have to work harder to earn equal pay, prove themselves more capable in higher education levels, are often dismissed in politics, and the list goes on and on. You know the drill.
Have you ever noticed that when you feel sad or sick, your pet knows way before anyone else does? They snuggle up and comfort you as much as they can. My thinking is that men have the same type of instinct. They can sense the resentment that we feel and do react, often unconsciously. This tension may be expressed in various levels of coping mechanisms.
One in three of us uses some type of substance to cope with life, be it alcohol,drugs, processed foods etc. The pressures that we live with, have we ever thought about why we do these things? Why do we get married, have children we can't support, work two jobs, eat unconsciously?
Personally, I think we allow ourselves to be controlled by religions that are backed up by the propaganda machine, the media. As you may know, I travelled extensively around the world and was totally amazed at how religions of all sorts ruled societies. Don't get me wrong, I know that there is a universal power that creates all that there is. I also know that I can think for myself and observe that the law of nature is much more in line with my thinking than is the law of man.
Perhaps if we lived by our natures versus the rule of religion/media some of this tension between us would dissipate? I wonder. Would it be possible to not have set roles for a woman and a man? How long will that take? Depends on education. Nature has us accept life as it is. A sense of allowing. Seeing what is, acceptance and being willing to change when the opportunity presents itself.
What are your thoughts on this issue? Do you think that men can feel the resentment we have when we are working that second shift looking after the children and he is watching the TV recuperating from a hard days work, just like you did?
What about nature? Is it natural that we get married and stay together for the rest of our lives? Obviously not as most marriages don't last or an arranged marriage which can be a private hell without choices. Does this fit our natural paths?
We are all looking for your comments. Get a discussion going. Can we think a little different about our lives? Can they tell, we feel resentful in this paternalistic society?
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
A return to the kitchen & the diminishing of equality
Its my pleasure to share Susan's story with you. Her first guest posting.
We all agree that throughout history, equal rights for women have been hard to come by. I won't digress all the way back to Susan B. Anthony but possibly back to my first memories.
At the beginning of World War II, with men being drafted to the fight on both sides of the globe, women - housewives - were inundated with propaganda to serve the war effort. With the men gone fighting, women were the only pool available for a workforce badly in need of workers to build aircraft and munitions.
My mother-in-law, at 17, worked in an aircraft factory riveting the nose cone onto the B-17 bombers - a true Rosie the Riveter. These women, these housewives, left their children in the care of others and joined what had been a male-dominated world by the thousands to help this country's war effort. Some, for the first time, earned the money that fed and clothed their family, made decisions based on their own thoughts and experiences - were looked upon by others in society as powerful contributors to a cause of immense importance.
Then the war ended, and men returned home to their lives and jobs. Women were displaced, forced back into low-paying menial positions or back into the kitchens. Women who had held positions and performed tasks normally relegated to their men, now found themselves devalued. And for some it was a rough adjustment.
One of my first memories was of my mother working in her flower garden in a pair of pedal-pushers. In fact, other than church on Sunday, my mother pretty much lived in slacks. She was a southern lady, having been born in a small town in Mississippi at the height of the depression, and thanks to my father's wishes, was a stay-at-home wife. She worked in the Camp Shelby cantina during the war and a small mercantile in my father's home town after they married.
But as soon as I was born, she took her "rightful" place as wife and mother. And as all the other women of her acquaintance tried to find their places in this changing America. Television, a broad new medium, was changing the face of how people viewed the roles of television families.
Ozzie & Harriet, Donna Reed and yes June Cleaver and her ubiquitous pearls, were showing America that it was the man of the household who was the true decision maker. The little woman got into adventures every week but it was always the strong, silent hubby that brought her back to earth and reminded her of the bond of family.
Looking back as an older person, I can't help but wonder what the women of that time - those same women who had given selflessly of their time, and sometimes their health, must have thought about the devaluation of their role in the household. It seemed that the women of that time had to be diminished in importance to make way for men returning home from war.
It's rather ironic that at a horrific juncture in our history, women at last found the equality they had been striving for, only to have it taken away so that men could be returned to their previous positions of power.
We all agree that throughout history, equal rights for women have been hard to come by. I won't digress all the way back to Susan B. Anthony but possibly back to my first memories.
At the beginning of World War II, with men being drafted to the fight on both sides of the globe, women - housewives - were inundated with propaganda to serve the war effort. With the men gone fighting, women were the only pool available for a workforce badly in need of workers to build aircraft and munitions.
My mother-in-law, at 17, worked in an aircraft factory riveting the nose cone onto the B-17 bombers - a true Rosie the Riveter. These women, these housewives, left their children in the care of others and joined what had been a male-dominated world by the thousands to help this country's war effort. Some, for the first time, earned the money that fed and clothed their family, made decisions based on their own thoughts and experiences - were looked upon by others in society as powerful contributors to a cause of immense importance.
Then the war ended, and men returned home to their lives and jobs. Women were displaced, forced back into low-paying menial positions or back into the kitchens. Women who had held positions and performed tasks normally relegated to their men, now found themselves devalued. And for some it was a rough adjustment.
One of my first memories was of my mother working in her flower garden in a pair of pedal-pushers. In fact, other than church on Sunday, my mother pretty much lived in slacks. She was a southern lady, having been born in a small town in Mississippi at the height of the depression, and thanks to my father's wishes, was a stay-at-home wife. She worked in the Camp Shelby cantina during the war and a small mercantile in my father's home town after they married.
But as soon as I was born, she took her "rightful" place as wife and mother. And as all the other women of her acquaintance tried to find their places in this changing America. Television, a broad new medium, was changing the face of how people viewed the roles of television families.
Ozzie & Harriet, Donna Reed and yes June Cleaver and her ubiquitous pearls, were showing America that it was the man of the household who was the true decision maker. The little woman got into adventures every week but it was always the strong, silent hubby that brought her back to earth and reminded her of the bond of family.
Looking back as an older person, I can't help but wonder what the women of that time - those same women who had given selflessly of their time, and sometimes their health, must have thought about the devaluation of their role in the household. It seemed that the women of that time had to be diminished in importance to make way for men returning home from war.
It's rather ironic that at a horrific juncture in our history, women at last found the equality they had been striving for, only to have it taken away so that men could be returned to their previous positions of power.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Be the first to say Hello
I've been watching the comments section here at my blog and wish to thank you all for participating. Great insights and sharing. This is a two way street. Let me know your thoughts.
Be the first to say hello is a phrase given to me by an exceptional woman I met while in my college days. She held a secretarial job yet was always willing to state her position and go against the stream of conversation and remain true to herself.
As I was growing up in Sydney Australia it was fashionable to put down foreigners, particularly Asians. Their culture was so very different, their cooking, language etc. Within groups the hatred of others was palpable. One could feel the tension in the air. How did they feel? They are so tiny and we are giants.
Have you got the courage to be true to yourself and be the first to say hello and open the door? A smile will often suffice, will break the tension. I'm tall and have to be extra welcoming as I tower over most people.
Fortunately for me, I had the ability to travel around the world with a backpack for 18 months. As you can imagine, I learnt a lot about people. The best education I ever went through. One thing I noticed was universal, no matter what country, what culture, what religion, people are basically the same. They want the best for their families and want the world to be a better place for their children than they had as a child. Humans will migrate, do anything, work hard, go against their parents wished, to make a better place for their kids.
Can we as other humans help them and say hello first. Break the ice so to speak? I found that not knowing their language is not sufficient excuse. Their silence or non attention to you, is expression of fear. You often notice this fear in young people who choose not to look at you. Same thing,fear. Traveling to over 34 countries all with different dialects etc made no difference. Always found a way to communicate, even with gestures, whatever it takes, we can do it.
Looking forward to your stories on this issue. Please do check out others comments for their insights.
Be the first to say hello is a phrase given to me by an exceptional woman I met while in my college days. She held a secretarial job yet was always willing to state her position and go against the stream of conversation and remain true to herself.
As I was growing up in Sydney Australia it was fashionable to put down foreigners, particularly Asians. Their culture was so very different, their cooking, language etc. Within groups the hatred of others was palpable. One could feel the tension in the air. How did they feel? They are so tiny and we are giants.
Have you got the courage to be true to yourself and be the first to say hello and open the door? A smile will often suffice, will break the tension. I'm tall and have to be extra welcoming as I tower over most people.
Fortunately for me, I had the ability to travel around the world with a backpack for 18 months. As you can imagine, I learnt a lot about people. The best education I ever went through. One thing I noticed was universal, no matter what country, what culture, what religion, people are basically the same. They want the best for their families and want the world to be a better place for their children than they had as a child. Humans will migrate, do anything, work hard, go against their parents wished, to make a better place for their kids.
Can we as other humans help them and say hello first. Break the ice so to speak? I found that not knowing their language is not sufficient excuse. Their silence or non attention to you, is expression of fear. You often notice this fear in young people who choose not to look at you. Same thing,fear. Traveling to over 34 countries all with different dialects etc made no difference. Always found a way to communicate, even with gestures, whatever it takes, we can do it.
Looking forward to your stories on this issue. Please do check out others comments for their insights.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Good Books, Good Food & A Suitcase Full of Clothes
Another apt phrase by Hilary Clinton voicing her opinion on how Bill liked to live. Good books,good food, and a suitcase full of clothes. Apparently he never cared too much about houses, savings, furniture,transportation, the laundry and you know the rest.
I have to laugh a little. That carefree phrase reminds me of my college days when that's all I needed to feel great. Then again, I am reminded of why I came to America. At that time, women were not allowed to obtain a business loan without a male signature. True story. I was astounded as you probably are. Times have changed, but have they really?
I have to laugh a little. That carefree phrase reminds me of my college days when that's all I needed to feel great. Then again, I am reminded of why I came to America. At that time, women were not allowed to obtain a business loan without a male signature. True story. I was astounded as you probably are. Times have changed, but have they really?
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