I've been thinking about this issue quite a bit.
When making love with your partner, do you mostly need to switch back to being a feminine person? It works best for me that way. How about you?
Yet, in the rest of my life, I'm working right along side of men, in the trenches so to speak, working full time, as well as running a household, looking after a baby granddaughter 40 hours a week and going to hot yoga at every opportunity. My personal gift to myself. Some semblance of balance.
We women no longer wear dresses. Dresses do make one feel feminine. They show off ones curves and attract those men like flies, which secretly we love.
Yet, they are totally impractical to work in. Can you make presentations in the board room without sexism creeping in? While wearing dresses, can you climb into an SUV with bags of groceries, clean up the kids who are hungry, keep the dishwasher monster under control as well as the laundry which is calling you constantly. Or work all day in shoes with heels so you can feel and look feminine?
How do you feel feminine? Do you feel relaxed enough, stress free enough to be affectionate with your partner? Do you want to stay home and have your partner bring in the bacon yet control you due to the resentment that often is harbored by the working partner? Do you want equality?
3 comments:
Maybe instead of the word "equal" we should say "appreciated" - not taken for granted for all the things...and they are many...that we do for our loved ones. Appreciated for being vibrate, productive, contributig females who enhance their male partners simply by caring for them in ways they could never care for themselves. Yes, we want to be equal because to be equal means we are recognized for all that we do - appreciated, loved, cared for = equal.
Equality is wished for but satisfaction in my relationship depends on stress, day-to-day issues, and connections. Weather I am wearing 'floor decorations', 'five-minute clothes' otherwise known as lingerie, or jeans and a tee-shirt is not the issue for me.
In different situations, there is an appropriate behavior. Dressing for success in business is vital. Dressing for errands or comfort is necessary. In the one-on-one of romance, there is a more relaxed idea of dress, especially after many years. Looking feminine for your one and only is great, but who are you wanting to attract attention from, other than your partner, outside of your relationship? Is that simply ego? Does that not stop equality, and pander to the base in social relationships?
My situation was one of working during the majority of my relationship, partnering and contributing all I was able. I worked mostly in corporate America. It was vital to be 'business-like'. To be too 'feminine' was not appropriate at anytime. In the 1970's there was the beginning of the awareness of sexual harassment, but it was always an issue and occurred in spite of regulations and company policies. To keep a good paying job, a woman had to keep a good sense of humor. Equality was not in the picture for pay, let alone treatment between the sexes. To dress to impress had to be tempered by being a business professional. I did my thirty-five years of complying. In fact, I had to be twice as good, to be thought half as competent, and was paid less than men in the same situation. I am a housewife now, as there is no retirement plan in this field and apparently no dress code.
With my relationship, how I feel is often tempered by stress levels, daily issues, and by my weight, more so than clothing choices. I find this a sensitive issue for me, apparently an aging issue that I feel is unfair. Equality? My partner does not have any teddies of which I am aware. Why is it on the woman to be the attractant, the social secretary, the caretaker, and the bottle washer? It is because we have been, we can, and we do it with aplomb, also to keep the peace, we comply? It is not equal. It is not fair. But I know it is changing, as my situation is very different from that of my parents. In addition, my nieces and nephews situation is different from mine. Although not perfect, my freedom is greater and my choices are better than my parents, which seems to be improving with this next generation as well.
Unknown, I don't know who you are but you have said exactly what I would say had I the words. That was perfectly put. Thank you.
Post a Comment