I was talking with my webmaster, Debbie and she suggested this topic.
Years ago, I went to the American Cancer Society. They had me fill out this form listing ten friends, phone numbers and addresses. These ten friends would be committed to help me while in cancer recovery.
Yeah, right! No way did I have ten friends who would be willing to run errands, feed me, or drive me to doctors etc. I could come up with three. That's it.
This little excerise was very telling to me and I never forgot it!
I made it my business to invest in REAL friends. Friends who stick by you through thick and thin! The only way to do this, of course, is to be willing and able to do the same for others. You do get tested over the years.
We all are reluctant to ask for help. Rejection being a factor, as well as embarrassment. Learnt from an unusual male source, a young yoga instructor, that sometimes we can give to others by allowing them to help us. There is a sense of satifiscation when one reaches out and helps another.
Women have a tendency to give and give to our families, yet this is often taken for granted. Your friends don't take you for granted!
2 comments:
A lot of what you say is very true, and I think that as women get older the demand on their time from elderly parents takes a toll on what personal time they have. It becomes difficult for a woman who works full time, cares for the man in her life (and we all know we spend a lot of time doing that!) and children, if they are still at home (or not, in some cases), to find the time to take care of herself, both physically or emotionally. Women have the tendency to put their needs on the back-burner while they attend to the needs of others. One of the consequences is that we tend to lose our social contacts and become more “home/family” oriented. Fact is, women need women in their lives to help ground them, to listen and understand when they talk, to share interests, to just be there if the need arises. True friends are hard to find and take care to keep, but are worth the effort.
Since we had our chat at the PO, I've been giving the 10 friends concept a lot of thought. Being a transplant to a new small town, and only being here 3 years, I've not found 10 girl friends whom I could add to the list. Even thinking about my old town in the Bay Area, I still couldn't come up with 10 names. So now I'm going to work on establishing more women friends whom I could count on through thick and thin and hope I find friends as devoted as you have in your life. You are an inspiration to me and I admire your courage and positive attitude.
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